The congregational facilitator staff in our Riverside Innovation Hub work at the intersection of relationships and learning. Put another way, they are stewards of change, accompanying our congregational partners towards discerning the call to be neighbor in their places. As one might imagine, this work presents great challenges at times. Geoffrey Gill, one of our RIH facilitators, shares in the blog below about is commitment to awareness – a critical component of what helps him show up in this work and in the world.
The most important practice I have put into motion in my 30s is meditation and slow moving exercises like tai chi and Qi gong. People take medication to help regulate their mind and body and I do the same thing with meditation. It’s a daily practice (well, almost everyday).
I used to watch my dad do yoga when I was younger and so as I got older I just started naturally incorporating it into my life. Although, it wasn’t until recently that I started practicing consistently. That’s when I started to see changes. Changes physically, mentally, and emotionally. I especially noticed that when stress or anxiety came up, my body was adeptly aware. It was almost like it knew what to do to get it back in its normal state. For example, I was in a meeting recently on zoom. I was being trolled by some lady who, my bias, has some heavy personal mental issues and trauma with black men. She tried to put it all on me because I wasn’t giving her attention. She said some crazy things to me. Things I won’t repeat here.
After the meeting I realized that my body was in some sort of shock. I was stuck in my seat. I didn’t want to move, but I had to go to the bathroom. When I sat down in the bathroom, I realized I hadn’t been breathing. I was breathing of course, but not really breathing. So, I started breathing deeply; like in the belly deep and then I closed my eyes. As I was breathing, it popped in my head that I was still holding the stuff that lady said. It was like I was holding my breath and simultaneously holding all the words this lady said, inside of me. As I breathed I consciously said, I give it to you God. After about 10 or so minutes later I felt a release. Like a dynamic force being lifted off of me.
I see how easy it is for me to hold onto stuff and not even know it. If I hadn’t been practicing my breathing exercises over the past two years I believe I would have been stuck in that dead space. And that would have made a ripple on everyone and everything in my life.
My point here isn’t so much about breathing or God. It’s about being the cause in the matter of awareness; self awareness. I do the work that enables me to be aware of my body and mind. I know I have a long ways to go in terms of really understanding the mind and body, and I am starting to see progress with myself. The petty trivial events, circumstances, and even people that come in my life, causing chaos aren’t so much of heavy chains anymore, but more of a revelation of how far I have come.