Written by Geoffrey Gill
We wall ourselves to protect ourselves. Let’s take a look at a few things that have held me mentally and physically back from really connecting to others and being in community.
These Barriers or walls are things that keep me(us) from experiencing another person’s heart, soul, mind, and strength.
*The Heart (passions, hurts, motivations, dreams),
*Soul ( personality, how they think, communicate, problem solve),
*Mind (what they believe, worldview, values, sense of self, sense of humor, what they find sacred)
*Strength (how they help, skills they bring to the table, the unique beauty they add to the world)
Key Barriers to One to Ones:
When we do scary and uncomfortable things, our bodies and emotions may react in order to protect ourselves from what our bodies perceive as danger.
We do this in many ways, here are some examples:
- Allowing nervousness or fear of rejection to prevent you from engaging with others can limit opportunities to form meaningful relationships.
- Taking the power of someone’s opinion out of the equation
- Closed-Off Attitude: Not showing genuine interest or curiosity about others can create a barrier to forming deep connections.
- Poor Nonverbal Engagement: Lack of eye contact and closed body language can signal disinterest, hindering the development of trust and rapport. (80%+ communication)
- Negative Mindset: Approaching interactions with negativity or skepticism can make conversations strained and uninviting. **Being honest about something that was wrong- and acknowledging it.
- Anxiety and self protective responses that protect us from others (If I keep it cool then people won’t know what I really have going on and they cant use it against me)
- Superficial Sympathy: Focusing only on surface-level sympathy instead of striving for deeper empathy and understanding can lead to shallow connections.
- Ignoring Personal Boundaries: Pushing too hard for personal information or not respecting someone’s comfort zone can damage trust and discourage further interaction.
- Overlooking Small Achievements: Not recognizing the importance of small steps in relationship building can lead to missed opportunities for growth and connection.
- Unprepared Conversations: Entering into interactions without any thought or preparation can result in unproductive and awkward exchanges.
- Self-Centered Approach: Focusing solely on what you can get out of a relationship, instead of also considering what you can contribute, can create imbalance and hinder genuine connection.
- Lack of Presence: Being distracted or not fully engaged in conversations can make others feel undervalued and disrespected.
